Alrighty...here we go. I'm trying to stay positive. Trying to stay away from the ledge. But I'm teetering...and I'm teetering bad. I did my monthly weigh-in and measurements today. And it is sooooo not good!! Even though I've done my workouts, drank my water, and did my best to watch my food (it still wasn't the greatest...especially Saturday)...I have gained weight and inches. I'm so disappointed in the fact that this happening and I cannot seem to get a handle on it.
I'm not disappointed in keeping with my water and workout schedule. Cause I'm nailing it and I feel amazing!! But I'm so disappointed in the fact I cannot seem to get my food under control. I feel like I'm fighting a never ending battle. I know all it will take is one push, one little finger push and I'll fall fast. I'll fall fast and I'll fall hard.
I want to say positive things. I want to be like, "Believe in yourself" and "if you hate starting over, stop quitting." I hear them, I see them, I believe them. I'm just losing faith in my eating. I thought I knew how to do it. I've done it before...so why can I not do it now!! Why can't I figure this out?!
AAAUUUGGGHHH!!!
This is getting so frustrating. My husband supports me and is trying to help me figure this all out. But when I get frustrated...and I don't want to hear it. I just want to figure it out on my own and let that be that. As you can see that doesn't quite work. Bitting the hand that wants to help you...not a good decision. It is taking me a while to figure it out. I'm going to get better. That is a one of the goals I have for this week (and something I'm going to have to continue working on).
There it is. My not so shiny moment. My frustrated, I'm teetering on the ledge, I'm going to fall, "what do I do" kind of moment. This is my day today. We all have these moments. We are human. We have our doubts, we have our negative moments. I have a few hours left in my day and I'm planning on making the most of it with family. It is turkey black bean taco/burrito,tostada night. Afterwards, it is on to watch Extreme Weight Loss. This usually brings me back to inspiration (like last weeks episode with Bruce, he's one inspiring guy...we need more of him and Chris/Heidi Powell in this world) mode.
With that said...I made a promise to do 30 squats, 30 lunges, and 30 swing-ups. So off I go...time to get all of these in and enjoy my family time. Tomorrow...more positivity. A brighter light. A friend helping me find a soultion to my food problem (thank you Ann).
"Will it be easy? Nope. Will it be worth it? Absolutely." - unknown
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